Why Are We So Interested in Others?
The phenomenon is almost a subliminal epidemic, creeping its way into almost every conversation, interaction or experience- most of us are knowingly or unknowingly but very unnecessarily interested in everyone else’s life. Logical thinking defies any need for discussions or judgments about anyone else’s actions, decisions or attitude, but surprisingly logic does not play a part here. It is beyond all reason, talking about and evaluating other people is an act we all are guilty of in some degree or form.
Some cultures accept it and even encourage it, while others are more circumspect about engaging in ‘gossip’ publicly, but unfortunately nowhere is it condoned. The media feeds on such instincts of witnessing other people act and react by the assembly line production of innumerable reality shows. The tabloids churn innumerable dollars out of stoking this superficiality in attitude by serving more and more junk about lives of the famous. More enterprising of the lot, leverage upon this latent desire by creating myriad social networking websites that give you opportunities to peep into other people’s lives. All this could be justified by unsound logic and warped reasoning, but the truth remains that such endeavors are borne out of and fueled by us wanting to observe and comment on even the most inconsequential action of someone else.
When strangers pass by us, we instinctively give them a look-over, as if hoping to find something out of the ordinary that can be semi-secretively smirked at, replayed in our own heads or be turned into a topic of discussion with friends. When an acquaintance acts away from the norm or is on the receiving end of lady luck’s frown, it is turned into a topic of debate amongst friends, each passing judgments that effectively make no difference to anyone, including the protagonist of the discussion.
If all this is so illogical, inconsequential and every bit unnecessary, why are we still so interested in what the other person says, acts, wears, behaves, weighs and breathes? The answer completely escapes me, but the thought that this is so ubiquitous offends all aspects of my sensibility.
Though finding answer to this conundrum might be an act in vain, but there have to be solutions that discourage such behavior in the hope of total elimination one day. Channelizing our energy in other more fruitful directions could be an obvious but a practically difficult solution. This also points in the direction of engaging in discussions with minds that are nurtured through careful food of deep thought as opposed to ‘junk food’ of frivolity. Checking ourselves every time we act out of an instinct to discuss and evaluate others should be a matter of continual practice till it becomes our second nature.
The famous novelist George Eliot has said “Gossip is a sort of smoke that comes from the dirty tobacco-pipes of those who diffuse it: it proves nothing but the bad taste of the smoker.”
If our aim is not to descend down the ladder of evolution, the beginning could be enriching our conversations and hence our thoughts. Like everything that encourages entropy in us, making other’s lives our business unfortunately comes easily to us. But like everything that cultivates the higher being in us, refraining from such behavior is a step toward the true us- so that we do not find ourselves to be the dirty tobacco pipe smoker with a bad taste.
The phenomenon is almost a subliminal epidemic, creeping its way into almost every conversation, interaction or experience- most of us are knowingly or unknowingly but very unnecessarily interested in everyone else’s life. Logical thinking defies any need for discussions or judgments about anyone else’s actions, decisions or attitude, but surprisingly logic does not play a part here. It is beyond all reason, talking about and evaluating other people is an act we all are guilty of in some degree or form.
Some cultures accept it and even encourage it, while others are more circumspect about engaging in ‘gossip’ publicly, but unfortunately nowhere is it condoned. The media feeds on such instincts of witnessing other people act and react by the assembly line production of innumerable reality shows. The tabloids churn innumerable dollars out of stoking this superficiality in attitude by serving more and more junk about lives of the famous. More enterprising of the lot, leverage upon this latent desire by creating myriad social networking websites that give you opportunities to peep into other people’s lives. All this could be justified by unsound logic and warped reasoning, but the truth remains that such endeavors are borne out of and fueled by us wanting to observe and comment on even the most inconsequential action of someone else.
When strangers pass by us, we instinctively give them a look-over, as if hoping to find something out of the ordinary that can be semi-secretively smirked at, replayed in our own heads or be turned into a topic of discussion with friends. When an acquaintance acts away from the norm or is on the receiving end of lady luck’s frown, it is turned into a topic of debate amongst friends, each passing judgments that effectively make no difference to anyone, including the protagonist of the discussion.
If all this is so illogical, inconsequential and every bit unnecessary, why are we still so interested in what the other person says, acts, wears, behaves, weighs and breathes? The answer completely escapes me, but the thought that this is so ubiquitous offends all aspects of my sensibility.
Though finding answer to this conundrum might be an act in vain, but there have to be solutions that discourage such behavior in the hope of total elimination one day. Channelizing our energy in other more fruitful directions could be an obvious but a practically difficult solution. This also points in the direction of engaging in discussions with minds that are nurtured through careful food of deep thought as opposed to ‘junk food’ of frivolity. Checking ourselves every time we act out of an instinct to discuss and evaluate others should be a matter of continual practice till it becomes our second nature.
The famous novelist George Eliot has said “Gossip is a sort of smoke that comes from the dirty tobacco-pipes of those who diffuse it: it proves nothing but the bad taste of the smoker.”
If our aim is not to descend down the ladder of evolution, the beginning could be enriching our conversations and hence our thoughts. Like everything that encourages entropy in us, making other’s lives our business unfortunately comes easily to us. But like everything that cultivates the higher being in us, refraining from such behavior is a step toward the true us- so that we do not find ourselves to be the dirty tobacco pipe smoker with a bad taste.
posted by Garima at 12:53 PM
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