From Stoicism to Equanimity

What was designed as a casual time-out with friends watching a movie, turned out to be an eye-opening rich discussion on the ostensibly obvious but a rare quality in individuals – stoicism.

The trigger of the thought was a remarkable performance by Will Smith in an exquisite film called ‘pursuit of happiness’. In addition to the overwhelming message of the heights determination can help you achieve, with the protagonist turning from pauper to prosper via sheer strength of will, the movie has a subtle hint of the importance of keeping your head on your shoulders when you want to scream. In the deepest of the dumps, the hero refrains from all discussions about his sorry state of finances with anyone, only asking his son to keep the faith in him.

Greek philosophy professes ‘Stoicism’ as self-control, fortitude and detachment from distracting emotions, sometimes interpreted as an indifference to pleasure or pain, allowing one to become a clear thinker, level-headed and unbiased. The surface of the definition appears doable, but pondering over it brings home the realization that most of us practice just the opposite.

In majority of the situations, at the slightest hint of discomfort we choose to be loudly vocal about it, at the first pang of pain we want everyone around us to acknowledge us as victims and empathize, and even before an achievement we frisk others for ego-boosts. In circumstances of challenge, stoicism generally flies out of the window and whatever is the primary basic reaction that is espoused.

Like everything else that is contrary to our inherent instinct toward entropy, being a stoic also needs constant practice. Pausing before playing hostage to the mind, contemplating before reacting and faithfully tuning inwards for an action-plan are the baby-steps in direction of this gargantuan task.

The further we go, the more fortunate we become because practicing this unbiased level-headedness is the preparation for the most coveted and quintessential quality of all seekers – equanimity. The importance of equanimity cannot be described enough. I came across a beautiful definition of equanimity in a text on Buddhism. Termed as upekkha in Pali, it is described as seeing things as they truly are, untainted by one’s delusions and desires and unaffected by one’s pre-judgments and expectations.

The instant opposition to this chain of thought mostly appears in the form of interpreting equanimity as indifference and hence diagnosing it as an obstacle in the path of success driven by passion. The argument could not be farther from the truth. Equanimity can only serve as a fuel to the fire of success, the difference lies in the reason for accepting that goal whose achievement is defined as success. If the reason anchors on other’s opinion and is measured by the yardstick held by someone else, the pleasure and pain at the ‘success’ and ‘failure’ would be an iterative, wasteful cycle. On the other hand, if the sole reason is self-improvement and learning, with other achievements being the side-effects of our primary goal of continual self-improvement, then our whole being would be filled with a perennial overwhelming feeling of success which is untouched by ephemeral pleasure or pain.

The bad news is its easier said than done, but the good news is that imbibing this attitude as a part of our lifestyle and checking ourselves each time we experience pleasure that comes with attachment, displeasure due to aversion and an ignorant kind of indifference, we would be half-way there. The other half as always is within us. A wise teacher once told me that the pursuit of happiness ends only when we understand, accept and practice what he termed as ‘detached attachment’ . The interpretation is left to each. What we need to cultivate is an awareness to expand the meaning of this phrase as this ‘koan’ unfurls.