Creating that Vitalizing Space

If I were to pick the most indelible take-away from the short time I have spent practicing yoga under some splendid teachers, it would undoubtedly be ‘creating space’. I vividly remember the vibrancy of the instant transformation that swept through my body when my yoga teacher stroked my spine and gently prodded me to elongate it as opposed to the cramping and compression I exhibited in the asana as the cramping-up flew instinctually from a symbolically similar lifestyle. As I found length through my body, I could breathe easier, feel the energy flow through me and experienced true joy- all in a flash because I had ‘created space’.

Ever since, it all does seem about creating that beautiful space which allows one to be-the exhilarating sense of freedom that comes from opening up and not cramping in. As it becomes your operating mantra, you walk taller, sit straighter, your chin sub-consciously always slightly tilted upward to receive the energy available and you exude that energy in every act you perform. The space that your body creates allows and encourages rejuvenating energy to flow continually through your physical being.

This vigor is also generated when space is allowed in relationships. ‘Attachment Theory’ in psychology talks of the dynamics of an infant’s attachment to his mother depending on how the mother treats the child. Among all scenarios, the best case arises when the mother is available for emotional and physical support when the infant needs her but gives space otherwise- a life at such an early stage also requires and feeds from the rejuvenating nature of receiving that space hence the primacy of a similar need in grown-ups is beyond discussion.

The phenomenon is also evident around living areas. A cluttered house by aesthetics, vaastu and simple common sense can never be a place that generates positive vibrations. Only when we de-clutter, make surroundings spartan and define the space does the life-giving force finds a channel to flow and amplify.

The energy-sapping characteristic of a lack of space may also be understood from the intimidation that a stranger’s too close a proximity generates, or the shortness of breath that a crowd that is too dense may induce. As they say, irrespective of the circumference, which is decided by culture and upbringing, it’s uncomfortable for all to have their personal ‘space’ invaded.

Some of us maybe more fortunate geographically, socially, relationship wise and physically to let ourselves experience the sense of liberation brought about by that vital space but next time we feel ourselves cramped, short of breath or energy less all we need to do is de-frown, find length and define that space in our minds so that the path way for the life-giving energy is unobstructed and we can simply be!

Learning Through Conversations

At the risk of gross generalization, all learners may be classified into two broad categories- those who learn on their own through reading, acting and reflecting and those who learn through others by conversing, acting and reflecting. Primarily belonging to the latter group, the skill of learning through conversation is one I admire and hence want to explore here.

The importance of discussion forums, virtual and real support groups and vintage advice from elders is beyond debate. Each time one engages in a conversation there is a whole new world that opens up via the unique perspective the partner to the conversation offers. With genuine effort toward learning something new, mighty may be gained from each simple interaction especially if one is surrounded by diversity. The experiences of others provide a short-cut to learning without living it yourself, the opinion of the others dissolves the molasses that may have settled in the narrow pond of our personal view and the advice offered by others may save one from a future mistake. Even the literature on Knowledge management talks of an important step in the knowledge management cycle that describes knowledge being imparted and imbibed tacitly through informal conversations and socialization thus providing the privilege of grasping what may never be written.

This is no where more evident then in conducting good research. In fact, the latest buzz in organizational and social research talks of ‘engaged scholarship’ (Engaged Scholarship: A Guide to Organizational and Social Research by Andrew Van de Ven) that is proactively seeking advice from all stakeholders at every step of the research journey. Most of those who have ‘arrived’ in their field have a common signature quality of encouraging and recording the feedback from everyone who has some to offer, irrespective of the status and level of understanding of the individual.

But this requires commitment of time. Listening to others is time-consuming and flows against the tide of instinctual counter-arguments we inevitably wish to offer. One has to sieve through the vast ‘data’ one generates through conversations to achieve that nugget of knowledge which sometime in the future may be the trigger for the tipping point toward a beautiful creation. Amidst all the multi-tasking, cramming more and more in our daily schedules and perennially wanting to over-achieve, finding this kind of time for conversations might require more effort than we might perceive.

It also requires immense patience. There are times when the advice is unsolicited and worse still pinching, there will also be times when the person at the other side of the conversation refuses to stop or painfully be repetitious especially when you have undying attention pouring out of your eager eyes, there may also be time when all you want to do is be on your own; listening despite all these odds is what a true learner needs to cultivate.

Humility is another pre-requisite for effective learning through conversation. One needs to suspend all judgments about the intellectual and other levels of the person one is conversing with in order to capture all that is of value. Hubris, arrogance and stereotyping the other are the inevitable killers of an enriching conversation.

All the above drums and rolls for engaging in conversations in no way undermine the value of knowledge through other sources like books and self-reflection. In fact zero learning would result if conversation is the sole source one learns through. What we hear must be churned and chewed through contemplation and compared to the written word for discovering unique views.

Counter-intuitively, conversation is an art and a valuable source of knowledge. If we resolve to pay attention to all words in each daily interaction we may discover and create un-ventured lands which with some effort may prove to be pathways to beautiful breakthroughs.